As a Black woman in America, the journey of thriving in predominantly white spaces is a profound and multifaceted experience for me and others like me. It’s a journey marked by both resilience and vulnerability, filled with moments of strength and introspection. It’s a journey that often prompts me to ask difficult questions about intersectionality, equity, and the role I play in breaking down barriers for myself and others who look like me.
Recently, I had a deeply resonant conversation with another Black woman, and it was a stark reminder that, despite our unique experiences and individual paths, we share common threads of pain and resilience. We both recognized the weight of being Black women in a society that sometimes feels designed to suppress us.
One aspect of this journey that often goes unspoken is the expectation that I am not only to survive but thrive in the face of systemic inequities. The pressure to excel, to break barriers, to shatter ceilings can be immense. It’s as if I am not only fighting for myself but also representing the potential of my entire community. The weight of this expectation can be crushing, debilitating, and heartbreaking.
As a lighter-skinned, cis-gendered, heterosexual Black woman, I often grapple with the concept of tokenism, which feels like it falls into the category of “double consciousness” famously coined by W.E. B. Du Bois. I find myself at the crossroads of being the first, breaking new ground to increase access for others who look like me, and being the token for the white folks around me. It’s a paradoxical position that constantly challenges my sense of identity and purpose.
The somatic toll of navigating these complexities is palpable. My nervous system often stays on high alert, and the anxiety, that tightness in my chest, can feel unrelenting. It’s the weight of knowing that the battle isn’t over, and the fight for justice and equity is ongoing. The realization of the change I am expecting to experience, which will probably not be seen in this lifetime of mine. It’s the frustration of feeling powerless in the face of systemic injustices.
In these past few weeks, I’ve found myself questioning whether thriving is even an option. The path ahead can seem bleak, the challenges insurmountable. Today, as I write this, there won’t be a resolution. The weight of being a Black woman in white America is a burden I carry every day. So, I am learning to hold space for my sadness, disappointment, despair, anger, and grief. These emotions are valid, and they remind me of my humanity.
As I navigate this journey, I must continue to have these conversations, even if it sometimes feels like I am talking to myself. I must continue to push for equity and justice, not only for myself but for future generations.
With gratitude,
Can
