Some weeks ago, I had the honor of speaking at Harvard University to present the preliminary results of a study I am working on with a dear colleague of mine. Our study examines the barriers and opportunities for black and brown therapists in the psychedelic-assisted therapy space. Leading up to the conference, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions.

On one hand, I felt a part of me saying, “You should be excited about this opportunity.” On the other hand, A part of me was deeply frustrated and angry. Frustrated that in 2024, we still need to conduct studies of this magnitude to highlight disparities and inequities, especially in a space that claims connectedness and love. It was during this time of conflicting emotions that I had a profound realization.

I spoke with a coach I had been working with recently, and it was encouraged that I lean into my anger. As a black woman, I have often been taught to suppress my anger, to be ashamed of it, or to believe that it has no place in my professional life. But as I continue my journey of recovery and self-discovery, I am learning to trust my anger and make space for it.

In an ancestral training I recently attended, we discussed the concept of completing the unfinished work of our ancestors. This idea resonated deeply with me. Despite my ambivalence and unresolved feelings surrounding Claudine Gay’s departure from Harvard, I realized my responsibility. I leaned completely into my anger and frustration, recognizing that I was speaking up for voices that may never have a seat at the table and who will die never having access to this therapeutic modality.

Returning to Baltimore City after the conference, I am reminded that there is still much work to be done as I look outside my own window. My hope is that I find the place that allows me to advocate effectively without burning out or sacrificing my well-being. So as my journey continues, I am committed to honoring my anger and using it as a catalyst for change in the world.

With gratitude,

Can